Marriage Moments ~ #9 ~ My Top 10 Daily Aspirations

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#9 ~ Keep our love nest sanctified, special.

A simple definition for sanctify is to set apart for a special purpose. What is that special purpose for our master bedroom? {We call ours The Nest. :)}We want to prepare and keep our nest so we have a private, quiet, serene, calm, relaxing, pretty place to retreat and connect with each other every day. This is what has worked for us. And it hasn’t only “worked”. It has helped us thrive! Over the years of some overwhelming stressful life experiences, and raising lots of children this simple aspiration has been (and still is) among the most powerful we practice to keep our marriage precious, loving, happy and fun! We highly recommend it!

Here are some ways that we keep The Nest special.

* We have a keep out policy.
There is a rule in our house that Mom and Dad’s room is off limits and others only enter with special permission. Our children generally will approach our room and stop in the doorway and will not proceed unless they’ve been invited in. We have tried to set a tone that the parent’s bedroom receives a little extra special respect, and privacy. If we establish our master bedroom as just another “family room” in the house then we would have to leave our own home just to “get away” to talk or play. I don’t think so. Obviously it is not practical to leave every time we need alone time together, especially while we are bringing up 8 children. Marriages do not thrive or, sometimes, even survive when couples don’t stay connected. We definitely do love and appreciate getting away for a couple of days every year to celebrate our wedding anniversary and we love our date nights, but having a special, designated place in our own home to hide away without interruption for even a few minutes every day is crucial for us to thrive.

We have “secured” our Nest by putting a baby gate in the doorway, an extra lock on the inside of the door, as well as, the doorknob lock, and oh…(We also used to have a useless-child-proof-thing-a-ma-jig over the outer doorknob that some of the children had no trouble getting into while it took me, the Mom, a hundred and fifty tries to get into my own room! Yeah, that one is gone now!). Anyway, the point is that parents need privacy, therefore, we have locks on our bedroom door.

We are firm advocates of training children to respect and obey household rules, like, “keep out of mommy and daddy’s room” and “always knock when a door is closed and enter by permission only”. But. We became foster parents. Therefore. In order to sanctify our space and privacy, (and sanity), we locked up the Nest like it was Fort Knox! ‘Nough said.

* Make it comfy and pretty.
This takes time. We have to budget our money, save for items, and wait for things to go on sale. So getting our nest pretty much the way we like it and within our means is a process. We didn’t just get it all done in a few weeks time or even a few months. It has taken several years to little by little make it nice for us. We talk about what we’d like to have and then keep our eyes peeled collecting things here and there as we are able.

My husband generally leaves the decorating to me. It’s not his thing. But putting together and keeping our Nest has mostly been a joint effort. I like that. It is our space. Together we chose the paint colors and the major things. He’s left the bedding and small decor to me and gives his opinion if he wants to.

We have tried to make ours a place suited to what makes us comfortable. You will choose things that are important to you and make you and your spouse comfy. An extra special blessing we enjoy is having a coffee bar mini kitchen in our Nest complete with a water cooler, mini fridge, microwave, toaster oven, coffee maker and everything we need for a midnight snack, breakfast in bed or a hot cup of coffee without having to leave our room. So Nice! For many years we’ve had a full house of young children, and my honey often works second shift (late afternoon til late night) and we can’t always get out for time alone, so having this special feature right here in our own space has been an enormous blessing to our marriage! Many times after the kids are bed we can retreat to the Nest, take out our favorite cheese and crackers and juice or a cup of decaf and enjoy a nice date at home! We also wake up in the morning before the children and have a cup of coffee together every morning. It is wonderful!

There are little things that can mean a lot. Here are some practical ideas.

– fresh new soft sheets with a higher thread count (Overstock.com has some great bedding deals)
– a fluffy light comforter
– new pillows; extra pillows
– a bed tray for snacks or breakfast in bed
– a snack basket or drawer
– a basket or drawer of pretty paper products
– candles (love the smell and crackle of Woodwick candles)
– soft lighting (dimmers and nightlights are great)
– shades or blinds in the windows for naps or daytime dates
– new towels
– wipes in your restroom so you’ll always, always, always be fresh and clean
– special or favorite soaps, oils, lotions
– romantic music
– linen spray
– a fan to keep you cool
– a space heater if your bedroom tends to be chilly
– a soft rug, floor pillows or cushions
– a faux fireplace or the real deal fireplace
– fresh paint or new wall color
– wall hangings or vinyl lettering of loving verses, quotes or words

* Keep it neat.
Oh dear, this one is a challenge and I have yet to “arrive” in this area. Obviously, keeping the Nest clean and tidy is important. Dust is unattractive. Clutter is definitely not restful. Maintaining a clean, tidy space shows thoughtfulness and consideration for my sweetie. Yeah,…I gotta go now. I need to hang up clothes and dust the furniture…:)

Walking with Jesus,

My Top 10 Daily Marriage Aspirations:
1) Make my husband smile every day. Whatever it takes. Be his dream-come-true!
2) Smile & be happy. Always be kind and polite to him AND about him to others. (Be easy to love!)
3) Hug, kiss, and touch him every chance I get. Enjoy sharing my “personal space”.
4) Lighten up. Do not be easily offended. Give him a break.
5) Be quiet. Rarely will there ever be any issue that is worth ruining our day over.
6) Pray about an issue before bringing it to him. Bring it up only if and when I’m sure God says so.

7) Faithfully pray for him throughout each day and let him know it.
8) Serve him sweetly. It’s not about my happiness, it’s about my holiness.
9) Keep our love nest (bedroom) sanctified, special.
10)There is always something to be thankful for. I want him to know I am grateful for him, for our marriage and for all of our blessings.

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5 thoughts on “Marriage Moments ~ #9 ~ My Top 10 Daily Aspirations

  1. Pingback: Marriage Moments ~ #2 ~ My Top 10 Marriage Aspirations | Bones in My Heart

  2. Pingback: Marriage Moments ~ #1 ~ My Top 10 Marriage Aspirations | Bones in My Heart

  3. Pingback: Marriage Moments ~ #10 ~ My Top 10 Daily Marriage Aspirations « Bones in My Heart

  4. Thank you! It’s funny that I read this today..after almost 20 years of marriage, just this morning I was asking my husband if he thought we should spend some extra money that came our way on new bedroom furniture…ours is sad and we do not own a real dresser/chest… I think it’s time to work on feathering our nest a bit. šŸ™‚

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