These goals or aspirations that I am sharing with you each week are my personal goals. It is a list formulated from my personal convictions as a born again, Christ follower, striving to be a doer of the Word, making my faith a living-faith. I am only able to share with you what I know about from my own life experience. The encouragement here is the fruit God is producing in my life, in my marriage. The way I live is by my own choosing, but not at all by my own doing. I have no power except through God and His Word. Without Him, His Holy Spirit, I would not have a heart and mind to do right. Apart from the Lord, I believe that I would not have the tools, instructions, or ability to do any good.
Some may read these posts on marriage and think, “Well, it’s just easy for you. Your husband’s a great guy. But what about my husband, who’s not Mr. Wonderful?” I know there are vastly unique situations and individuals. I can’t speak of anyone’s personal experience except my own. I could make a very long list of wonderful things about my husband. He really is a great guy! But my simple answer is this.
Jeff Scott is not a perfect man, but he is the perfect man for me. My admiration of him is extremely high and growing. I look for the things about him that are wonderful. I choose to appreciate him. In spite of both of our imperfections I choose to love him completely, and devote myself to him forever and always and no matter what.
Love changed my perspective. The more (and longer) I love him the fewer faults I find. I just don’t see him the same way I used to when we were 20 years old. I remember back when I didn’t know any better, getting my feelings hurt, crying over myself. It was mostly all about me back then. I sincerely loved my husband and really enjoyed being his wife, yet ugly selfish feelings would creep in and skew my thinking. The Lord opened my eyes one day when I was sitting around boo-hooing to Him about our problems and my hurt feelings once again. I noticed a definite pattern. As I looked back on those first few years I saw that most of my concerns had not been about my husband’s well being but about what I wanted, or something I thought I needed or deserved. My pride caused my problems and my pain. I decided that day to be a brand new wife. I decided to love him this way…
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Everything changed for the better that day! That day I chose to try my best to live out J.O.Y.! Jesus, Others, then You.
You and I all the time see people quickly bothered, offended, upset and disappointed by things that they could just overlook. I’m also often guilty of this. Frankly, it’s almost always some minor thing that matters very little, especially in light of Eternity! I can be so easily offended. I should always expect this of myself whenever I choose to elevate myself above someone else. In that moment nothing and no one else matters, but ME! I become IT.
We all know that when we do something silly, negligent or even hurtful how much we appreciate others’ forgiveness and forbearance, right? Yet, we are so stingy and greedy with our forgiveness, our patience and our tolerance of others, especially those closest to us, like our husband.
We forget that maybe he’s also had a rough day. We forget that he’s probably got alot on his mind, too. We forget that he needs and appreciates some grace, tenderness, special attention, and respect as much as we do. We forget that he also would like to be loved just for who he is, and for who he can become. We forget that home is the place where he hopes he can be safe from all the cares of this world, whether he deserves it or not. We forget we aren’t the only ones! We forget that it is not all about us!
This is such a terrible, harmful thing in marriage. It oozes with nasty, ugly pride. It reeks of self-centered evil. All sin begins with pride. All trouble starts there. It is always at the root. It’s never pretty. And it is always painful to be around…for everyone.
If I want a sweet, happy marriage then I have to die to self in the nitty-gritty of everyday and choose to love my husband more than myself. If I don’t yield and let the Lord have His way, my pride will faithfully forge ahead and insist on its own way. I must be on the alert…for the devil is my adversary who is like a roaring lion walking around looking for someone to devour! (from 1 Peter 5:8)
Because God’s ways are mysterious they make no sense to the world or what it sees as reasonable. But it seems that the sweeter I am to my husband, the sweeter he is to me! Ahhhh, it is more blessed to give than to receive! (Acts 20:35) Don’t listen to this world! Listen to God! His Word is good! He is good!
May God bless all your marriage moments!
Some excellent passages to explore…but definitely not a complete list. There are so many!
John 13:34-35 & 15:12
Ephesians 4:29-32 thru 5:1-2
Colossians 3:12-15 (& beyond)
I Peter 3:1-4
Proverbs Ch 15 & 16
For more of My Top 10 Daily Marriage Aspirations…
1) Make my husband smile every day. Whatever it takes. Be his dream-come-true!
2) Smile & be happy. Always be kind and polite to him AND about him to others. (Be easy to love!)
3) Hug, kiss, and touch him every chance I get. Enjoy sharing my “personal space”.
4) Lighten up. Do not be easily offended. Give him a break.
5) Be quiet. Rarely will there ever be any issue that is worth ruining our day over.
6) Pray about an issue before bringing it to him. Bring it up only if/when I’m sure God says so.
7) Faithfully pray for him throughout each day and let him know it.
8) Serve him sweetly. It’s not about my happiness, it’s about my holiness.
9) Keep our love nest (bedroom) sanctified, special.
10)There is always something to be thankful for. I want him to know I am grateful for him, for our marriage and for all of our blessings.