I shared in the post, “Above All We Ask or Think ~ Part I ~“, how we met our firstborn daughter’s birthparents. I can hardly believe that was over 14 years ago!
On a Thursday evening I was standing at the stove frying chicken and making all the fixin’s. Our friends, Rex and Jelanna were over to have dinner with us. Our birthmother called and said she was going to the hospital! It was time! Woe!!! Ok. Oh my. We swirled around deliriously! Jeff and I quickly left our friends, who happily told us to “Go!” and took off for the hospital which was thankfully not even 30 minutes away.
Our birthmother’s plan was that I would be with her through labor and delivery, Jeff would be welcomed into the room after the baby was born. To our surprise, she had changed her mind and didn’t want Jeff to miss his baby daughter’s birth so once again we were all four together! I cannot tell you how grateful we were and are to have been such a special part of the labor and delivery of our baby! We were so honored!
Jeff stood behind me, kind of “out of the way”. I was at the bedside as close as I could possibly get, holding her left foot in my hands as she selflessly brought our beautiful daughter into the world. Once again, she made sure to include us as much as she could. Her actions throughout our 10 weeks together spoke clearly that she never felt it was about her. Everything she did was all for her precious daughter. We were amazed.
Lauren was born precisely at 7:59 p.m. The hospital midwife exclaimed, “Who wants to cut the cord?” I was so surprised when Jeff spoke up and said, “I will!”. And he did. Lifting up our little bundle swaddled in the cloth, the midwife looked at the new mother to see who was going to hold her first? And, as you probably could have guessed, our birthmother said to give her to me. So she was placed into my arms. I held her and just stared in awe. Eventually, a nurse took the three of us, Jeff, our beautiful 6 lb 13 oz baby daughter, and I to the nursery. They let me give Lauren a bath, feed her and rock her. I rocked her all night long in the hospital nursery! Another unexpected blessing, because I just couldn’t let go of her!
In the hospital with my daughters’s birthmother I experienced something else that was unexpected. It hit me hard that all the years we had prayed for a child I was always thinking about me and how desperately I longed to be a mother. All I wanted was for that void to be filled, and our dreams to be fulfilled…Until the day this dear friend of mine had to let go and say good-bye to her precious daughter, now also my precious daughter. My heart broke into a million pieces for her. I left her room, went out into the hallway, broke down pressed against the wall to keep from sinking to the floor .
“Why?! Why, did someone else have to suffer such a horrific loss in order for me to gain such a sweet longed-for blessing? Why did she have to leave with empty arms as I left with arms full?! It was as if we were trading places and it didn’t seem fair.” My new daughter’s courageous, loving birthmother has always assured me that even though she was heartbroken she had peace. She was doing the very best she could for her baby. I truly had never seen such love, courage and strength in a human being ever before.
We loaded our new baby buckled snug in her infant car seat into the backseat of our car. I climbed in next to her and the two of us, brand new parents, sobbed hard all the way home. We never expected to ache so deeply for our baby’s birthmother. Jeff pulled the car into our garage and a large group of family and friends poured out from the house to welcome the three of us home! When we stepped from the car our loved ones assumed we were overcome with joy…but we were still grieving for another set of parents not so far away who had just moments before courageously entrusted us with a most treasured gift.
I am so thankful that our daughter has this legacy of a beautiful, loving mother who selflessly gave her the gift of life. I want to bring honor to the Lord and to our daughter’s birthmother. I pray this story has done just that.
It is amazing what God will do for someone such as I. Have you heard the song, “It is No Secret”?
It is no secret what God can do.
What He’s done for others
He’ll do for you.
With arms wide open
He’ll pardon you.
It is no secret what God can do.
Not only did God pardon me and save me…He keeps blessing me exceedingly, abundantly above all I can ask or think! He will, just as certainly, also save you and bless you!